. RESPECT THE PERSON OF THE CHILD: Children are not things to be molded. They are persons to be unfolded. 'Respect' they say, is reciprocal. In other words, it is a two way street for children as well as parents. Children need to respect their parents, but parents also must respect their children. A parent who does not respect his child should not expect respect from that child.

To respect the person of your child you must not manipulate him to be what you expect him to be. Help him to be what God intends for him to be. Encourage him to be the person he wants to be. A musician sings: "Everybody wants me to be what they wanted to be and I am not happy when I try to fake it. That's why I am easy, easy like a Sunday morning." Many children have faked the person their parents want them to be. This neither makes God nor the children happy. Samson would not have been happy if his parents forced him to be a waiter in a five-star hotel instead of a warrior against the Philistines. Timothy would not have been happy if his Greek father compelled him to be a philosopher instead of a pastor. To respect the person of the child, you must identify and accept what God created him to be. When Jesus remained in Jerusalem after a feast and His parents found Him after three days, He told them, "did you not know that I must be about my Father's business." He was 12 years then, yet his parents respected Him enough to allow Him to do His father's business.

2. SET CLEAR-CUT BOUNDARIES OF CONDUCT: The child must be fully aware of what you permit and what you prohibit. There should be no doubt in his mind whatsoever. Proverbs 22:15a says that, "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child". It will take parental firmness to help the child to recognize the foolish things bound up in his heart.

3. DISCIPLINE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR; REWARD POSITIVE CONDUCT: Discipline should not only be a response to negative behaviour. It must also be reward based. You are injecting a particular type of discipline when a child misbehaves and you spank him. You also teach a discipline when a child does well and you commend him. Rewarding also amounts to the facilitation or encouragement of discipline in a child. Parents are more akin to punishing negative behaviour than rewarding positive conduct.

Avoid the temptation to deny a child food in the name of disciplining negative behaviour. You could deny a child a privilege but not a right. Such an action will amount to child-abuse and cruelty. A child could be denied privileges such as ice cream, a visit to a friend, or watching television but never his regular meals. Furthermore, deprivation of a child must be related to the offence committed and it must not be continuous. Avoid child nagging. Speak once, then act. Speaking too much has been said to make the child "parent-deaf".
Culled From: HOW TO BEAT YOUR CHILDREN By Dr. Steve Ogan